Revisionist News

or, The Sanford Hypotheses

In deference to a friend of mine who used to work for the Appalachian Mountain Club (, I am hoping to revise the commonly accepted view of what Mark Sanford was doing over Independence Day weekend, to forestall the snickers one currently hears whenever the phrase “hiking in the Appalachians” comes up.  The Appalachians are a beautiful place and do not deserve to have their reputation thus sullied.

In fact, it is entirely possible that the Guv really was hiking in the Appalachians at the beginning of that weekend.  And then, he was abducted by

UFO aliens       )

Communists      )    pick one

Terrorists          )

who flew him to Argentina and dumped him in an inappropriate bed for purposes of public embarrassment.  Obviously, Sanford and his staff were dealing with the only thing that would have been more embarrassing than a tryst in Buenos Aires—a kidnapping by critters most of us don’t believe in.  Give it a thought.

Red Emma

The Bennigan’s Index, July ’09 edition

The latest victim of The Economy here in Chicago is the Symphony Store, where Chicago Symphony memorabilia are sold on the first floor of the Symphony Center.  It now has a “closing” sign out front, alas.  On the other hand, it is located right across the street from our local Bennigan’s, which has reopened!!

On yet another hand, the Spertus Institute of Jewish Studies recently moved into a super-fancy bespoke building (is that the proper term?), and has now closed down most of it, allegedly until the economy improves.  Times are hard even in the nonprofit sector.

Jane Grey

More Haste, Less Speed

Mr. Wired and I have long accepted that “rush hour” is in fact the slowest time to get anywhere on most roads.  Now we are also adjusting to the fact that, if you have a medical emergency that needs immediate attention, the “emergency room” is the last place you want to go for that attention.  The last time we did, in April, we were there for 10 hours before even being triaged. If you are visibly bleeding from an artery or a bullet wound, the staff may take more immediate notice, but anything else, no matter how acute and alarming the symptoms, will run you into double-digit waiting times, at least on the South Side of Chicago.  Not sure whether this is a deliberate policy to discourage use of the ER for anything that does not require transportation by ambulance.  Any ideas from the docs among us?


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